this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
