You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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