Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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