that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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