Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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