i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
