Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
