i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
only if we run a train.
done.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize