Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
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