i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
