Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
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