the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
We left an ass print on the piano.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
