my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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