Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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