eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
My pussy is not your playground.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
