Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
