then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
