She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
