That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
