no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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