Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
