You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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