You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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