i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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