Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Randomize
