Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
