come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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