I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
i believe in u and ur pee
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
