Yo dont text me then not text me
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i love accidental penises.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
