what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
