Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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