We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I love having hate sex.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
