how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Randomize