Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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