If that was your dad, he is hot
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize