Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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