I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
