so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)