dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
