That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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