dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
