Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
