and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
