He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
if only i could text you this smell
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
