Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
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You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
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I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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