So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
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