Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
