Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Randomize
