it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I fill condoms, not promises.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Randomize