Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
