Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
