To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
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just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
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Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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