It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
