I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize