Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
my shit smells like andre
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize