well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
