part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize