Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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