he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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