Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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