Hey man sorry I got all grabby
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
