Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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