I think my fart just growled at me.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
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I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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