so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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